So Emotional

I thought it wasn't going to be this emotional when my dad forgets things. I thought all the grief work I'd been doing in therapy was going to prepare me for these parts of the living loss we experience each day, but I was wrong. I walked down the stairs today to hear my dad singing 'Unforgettable' by Nat King Cole and his daughter, Natalie. He was really enjoying it, so I listened until the song was over - he knew every word. When he finished, I asked him if he liked that song, he said he's always liked it. I asked if there was any reason in his head he could think of why he liked it so much and he said it was always one of his mother's favorite songs, to which I replied does anything else about this song stick out for you and he said no. When he said no, it brought me down so far and I tried not to let him hear the profound sadness in my voice or the disappointment, but it was the song he and I danced to at my wedding. The pun of 'Unforgettable' is not lost on me, either, but it sent me into deep despair and I went upstairs and just cried. Somedays, the cruelty of this condition is too much to take.

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